My Truth

Lately I have been listening to a lot more Christian worship music.  As a matter of fact, Will and I love singing along to our favorites on car rides.  He introduced me to Matthew West’s song “Truth Be Told” and I have been listening to it pretty much non-stop.  So, here is my truth.
Yes, I am a God-fearing Christian woman.  I have been for most of my life.  However, I did not share my faith.  Yes, people knew but I have never been as “vocal” as I am now.  I kept my church life and my non-church life as separate as I could and there are a lot of you who do not know what I have done.  Half of you saw me as a “good Christian kid” from a “nice Christian family” and the half saw me at this loud-mouthed hood rat from Great Brook Valley.  Mama always says I should have been an actress.  I have done drugs ((thankfully never got addicted)), cheated on Will numerous times ((yet he loved me and forgave me…every time)), I lied, I stole, and boy was I a big hypocrite.  I am not telling you this to impress you.  This is who I really am underneath my faith.  At least…who I was.  God is literally breaking me apart and molding me back together piece by piece.  And boy does it hurt, and it is so beautiful.  We all have our own personal demons ((fear, anger, lust, sickness, and so on)).  Even us “good Christian kids” from the “nice Christian homes”. But underneath the anger and the pain and fear there is a child of God, no matter your skin color.  I am white.  I was raised in Great Brook Valley and my first two best friends in life that I can remember were Hispanic and African American. We did not care that we were “different”.  Instead we played together, formed little clubs, slept over each other’s house, and even attend each other’s churches.  Because of that I got to see so much in my young life that I did not fully appreciate until now.  I have been to several different type of services ((Catholic, Protestant, Episcopal, Pentecostal, etc.…)) and each one worships the same God I do, albeit in different ways ((and if I had to choose…Pentecost all the way…they are fun people)).
I still have my dark days where I cannot seem to find God no matter where I look but let’s be real…we all do.  On those days, I do whatever I can to connect to God if I am feeling desperate which is listen to my favorite worship songs ((love my music)) and call my Mama because that woman is the strongest woman I know.  And I am also blessed to have others to lean on when Mama needs that extra set of hands since she is holding up Will and our boys.  My in-laws, my brother and his wife, my sisters, my church families ((and I know a LOT of you)), even people I haven’t talked to in a long time but who knew me when I was just a “new kid at church”.
So, that is my truth.  I am not perfect. I have made mistakes. I do things I should not or say things I should not today.  But…I serve a loving, faithful, worthy King who has never failed me…even when I did not know it ♥

Published by Amanda-Lyn

I reside in the heart of New England with my 2 sons and my husband. My eldest son visits us frequently. When not in the office, I love to sing and to write and more than anything I love God and I follow Him truly truly ♥

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