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Take a Breather, God’s Got This ((November 7, 2020))
During the drive home today it seemed almost magical outside.  The sun was shining, and the sky was a perfect blue.  Then we passed a Friendly’s and it brought back the many memories of serving on a beautiful day like today.  The lobby would be full of people and the phone would be ringing off the hook.  The greeter would be bussing and seating as fast as she could.  Us servers would be practically flying around ala Speedy Gonzalez and yet never really ran into one another.  The dishes would be flying back and forth practically in the blink of an eye and between tables ((when we could catch a breath)) we would be in the server’s aisle either yelling or laughing or teasing or singing or doing whatever we could to keep our sanity during a rush.  Then I though how much life can get to be like serving.  You wake up thinking about your day ((shift)) and make plans on doing x, y, and z.  Then something happens ((2 parties walk in at the same time)) then a all of a sudden it turns into something sort of but not really expected ((someone leaving something undone, leaving early etc.…)) we shake our heads, shrug our shoulders and move on.  Just when we are treading water and taking a breath then the mother load hits ((the dinner rush on a 75-degree day on a Saturday in a restaurant that serves ice cream sundaes galore)).  Then the panic sets in and you think and yell and cry and scream and pray you survive.  Then suddenly the time has passed, and all is quiet again and your left with a mess behind.  You sigh and pick up the broom and get to sweeping and cleaning.  That is where I know I fall short.  When life is a mess and I have no idea where to even start cleaning, I try to take the broom and the rag from God going “here, let me” when He wants me to sit and take in a breather and rejoice in His blessings and marvel at His beauty in the world around us.  So, next time you see that “mess”, give God the broom and take a breather ♥

Peace and Love ((November 7, 2020))
What a lovely Saturday.  Made a quick stop at the bank which went well and matters were sorted and questions were asked and we were guided on next steps to take if necessary.  Then we visited with my brother and his lovely wife and a dear friend.  Laughs were had, memories shared, the future talked about.  We watched their wedding video and we were reminded of the good and the love that still exist today.  Plus, we got to see Dad in there and it was very comforting to see him once again like he used to be before he gained his wings.  I felt such a peace steal over my heart as I watched and remembered.  I also take great comfort in knowing he is watching over me as always and is waiting eagerly ((but not too eagerly)) for me to jump into his arms as a small child.  Even sweeter will be jumping into the arms of a man I’ve believed in for a very long time and I cannot wait until that glorious day ♥

Raising a Hallelujah in the Storm((November 1, 2020))
Today marks the beginning of a new month.  At this point I have no idea what the future holds for us.  The road seems bleak and weary.  And I could wallow in the uncertainty, but I will not.  Instead, I am choosing to rely on God’s grace, love, and mercy.  I am worthy because He makes me worthy.  I am loved because He loves me. I am chosen because He chose me.  Today marks the first communion I have partaken of in a very long time ((at least a year if not longer)).  I felt such a shift in my heart.  It seemed like it was being wrenched open and filled with a warmth and a peace that I have not felt in quite some time.  While I have no GPS to guide me and it seems the batteries in my flashlight have died, I step forward with confidence in my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.  To quote a favorite song by Bethel Music “I will raise a Hallelujah in the middle of the mystery”.  If you are struggling or hurting or just weary and depressed, I urge you to search deep and unbury the sadness and expose it to God’s light and God’s love and I encourage you to go Raise A Hallelujah ♥

Find your way to God ((October 29, 2020))
Facebook always asks, “what’s on your mind?”  Well, God is on my mind.  His love, grace, mercy, the sacrifice on the cross.  At least I try to keep Him front and foremost in my life.  The human in me however, sees the bad.  The fact that my boys are STILL out of school, the trying and hoping to move to a better place but still waiting, the “wonder” of how we’ll manage from week to week (and sometimes day to day).  I constantly have to beat down the bad and be diligent in reminding myself of times before when I was so down in the valley, there was no sight of Jesus on that mountaintop.  I also find that when you are about as low as you can get (to where you just want to end it all) that is when a helping hand comes along.  It might in the form of a conversation with a good friend.  It might be in that job offer you put off.  It might be in a song.  For me, the best place to find God is when I am swallowed by the darkness and I have to claw my out.  There is a sleeping demon inside of me and I have to fight (sometimes daily) to keep her away.  That demon tells me I am not good enough, I am unworthy, I am unloved.  When I find her trying to “take over” I turn to prayer and music.  Mostly music.  People are given talents from God to use to help others.  Some are called to preach, some are called to pray, some are called to sing, some are called to teach etc.  My calling? Writing and music (even though I do not sing well at all).  So, I challenge you today to find what brings you so close to God you can see His face and cling to it every day ♥

Change
Change is good and can be blessings even when we do not think they are.  My biggest problem with change is I like to be comfortable so when a “monkey-wrench” gets thrown in my path I ten to pout and cry and stomp like a five year old who’s favorite stuffy is in the dryer.  Then God gives me a wake-up call saying, “You have to need to fear this change, for I am going with you”.   I have had many changes in my life.  Small ones (moving, a new job, etc.…) I have also had the big changes (marriage, children, etc.…).  My human nature fought every step of the way and I was dragging my feet during some of these changes.  Then I said “ok God…I do not know why this is happening, I do not know how this is happening, I do not know where this is going…but You are in control”.  Dear ones, give it to God and look for the small blessings and soon you will see the big blessings ♥

Look into the Mirror
It is said, the eyes are the window to your soul and the best way to see that is to look into a mirror. I do not like to spend a lot of time in the mirror. Or at least, I did not. When I was younger, I would look into the mirror and see a broken girl staring back at me. Who could love me? Why? Was I worth anything? I hated the pain and the anger and the fear and the distrust and the betrayal I saw staring back at me. Then I learned a valuable lesson: if God loves me, that is enough! I saw under the pain and the anger and the fear and the distrust, there stood a woman who had overcome insurmountable struggles with God’s grace and now there stood an unknown woman. I still struggle sometimes to really look in the mirror. This woman that I see staring back at me is unknown but strong. Scared but brave. Trusting even though I am afraid. Why? Because I look into my eyes and I marvel at the strength and beauty and grace shining there from God. So when you doubt yourself, when your full of that pain, that anger, that fear, that distrust, when you wonder if you are enough…I challenge you today to look into that mirror and let the pain wash over you. Let the anger, fear, and distrust soak you. Then watch yourself as you think and feel more. Feel the strength that comes from God. Watch as your face softens with God’s love and understanding. See as He takes your hurts, habits, and hang-ups (your tests if you will) and turn them into triumphs. ♥

Mary like Faith
Everyone says have faith as a child.  I find as a child, I want things to be my way, right now, and I will throw a tantrum if I do not get it.  I would rather have faith like Mary.  I can see her just hanging out one day, maybe even hanging the wash for her Mama when an angel appears.  I am sure she probably was um…. surprised? I know I would be.  But then this angel says to Mary “hey guess what…you’ve found such favor with God that He’s chosen you to carry His Son.” Had that been me, I would’ve fought and said “uh-uh…no way…. I can’t do that.”  Mary though says “ok…sure.” Without even questioning.  Even though doing say may have cost her her life.  She took a giant step of faith.  There have been many times in my life that I have been faced with tests and trials and of course I fought, and I said “uh-uh….no way…I can’t do that.”  Then I surrendered it to God….no more questioning, I said “ok…sure God.  This is where you want me to go then that’s where I’ll go.”  In these dark and uncertain times, I find myself leaning more into God saying “ok…sure God” instead of fighting and even though my future (like everyone else’s) is up in the air, I’m at peace knowing that God knows what He’s doing even though I feel as if I’m stumbling.  So, I have thought about it and I have decided that while child-like faith is fun, I would rather have a Mary-like faith. ♥


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