My hero is not the first lady nor is she a rock star or an actress. She is all of that and so much more. She is my Mother, and she is my sounding board, my confidant, my best friend. My Gram did not live long after I was born ((I was maybe five when she passed)). I do not remember much of my Gram only that she was nice to me and Alex. As I got older, I came to realize my Gram was not who I knew. Hearing stories of my Mother’s childhood made me realize what a woman of faith she must be to still be here today. Thankfully, like me, she had others who looked after her and encouraged her and lifted her when she was down. She met my Father in the Army National Guard and together they had me and Alex. We were born 3 years and one month apart exactly so growing up, he was my best friend. Tragically but heroically, Alex went home to His Heavenly Father back in 1991. The years were not kind, but Mama did the best she could and still tried to make my life as normal as possible. Being a Christian woman, she opened our home to a gentleman who raped me the first night he moved in and continued to do so for 2 years before I came forward. I was then removed from home and was placed in foster care and denied ANY contact with my Mother for about a month. I can still see fourteen-year-old me running down the hall of the courthouse and leaping into Mama’s arms and clinging so desperately to her. As always, the years went on and of course we fought and bonded, then fought and bonded again. Then our eldest, Liam, got severely ill with pneumonia and he was hospitalized for about a week. Night and day, I was at his bedside, crying and praying, and I also received a deeper understanding of what my mother endured for years.
After Liam recovered and was sent home, I spent a lot of time examining my relationship with my Mom. How could this woman who endured such tragedy still have faith? Why hadn’t she given up on God? It took me a long time to realize she never gave up on God because He never gave up on her. As I grow older, we frequently reminisce and her favorite thing to reminisce about is my childhood and how God was there even on my darkest days and I was blind with anger. She reads her Bible every night before bed and listens to me talk about Faith Like Mary constantly. She is quick to correct with an overflowing heart of love ((even if she does come across as brusque)). Given her life, I would probably be a little on the cranky side myself. Whenever I need something, be it spiritual, physical, or even financially on occasion, she is there opening her arms and saying “do not worry my Child, we will be good because God’s got this” ♥
I did something today that I have not done since high school. I was cleaning and blasting my worship music ((which seems to be a daily and sometimes hourly occurrence these days)) when I was reminded of Pastor Dan and the beginning of the school year retreats we would take with F.A.C.A. These retreats were for the students and teachers to reconnect casually after a long summer but even more than that it was a way to bring us closer to God. We always took one day on the retreat and we would all have breakfast together then we would all go off separately and just let our Bibles fall open in our laps. Then we would read and pray and meditate over whatever passage God showed us. Today, I let my Bible fall open then walked off to get a bottled water. I came back to Daniel chapter 10 being open where Daniel has a vision by the Great River. As I was reading, I thought to myself “okay God…what are you showing me”? Then Daniel 10:17-19 practically leapt off the page and pretty much smacked me upside the head.
17. “For how can this servant of my lord talk with you, my lord? As for me, no strength remains in me now, nor is any breath left in me”. 18. Then again, the one having the likeness of man touched me and strengthened me. 19. And he said, “O man greatly beloved, fear not! Peace be to you be strong, yes, be strong”! So, when he spoke to me, I was strengthened, and I said, “Let my lord speak, for you have strengthened me”.
This resonated deep in my soul because truth be told, I am tired. Tired of this Covid, tired of waiting to move or not move, tired of remote learning, but more than that my soul is tired and some days I feel I just cannot continue. I will continue to worship and wait and pray. Thomas said, “I believe, help my unbelief”. And oh, I do believe with my whole heart and my fervent prayer is that you believe with everything you have and that when you are tired and weary, let your Bible fall open, talk with the Lord and He will give you strength ♥
This week alone (within the past 24-48 hours) I have been called crazy and a zealot. Why? Because I believe in someone greater than myself? I am trying to turn a blog into a full-fledged ministry of sorts? I keep having faith when others are circling around saying “no no give up, do it my way”? Well at first I was all “call me whatever you wish, I’m still going to share my love and my faith in God”. Then the human side of me took over and the self-doubt kicked in telling me that those people are right and I truly must be nuts. Then I thought of Noah. Up until Noah started building the ark, he was well-liked and respected. Then God told him “build an ark, take your family and 2 of each kind of animal (male and female) then get on this ark and stay there until I give a sign that it is safe to come off of the ark”. Noah, without hesitating said “ok God, I’ll build an ark”. And of course his neighbors (and probably extended family even) told him he was crazy and this would not happen and to just give up. But Noah prevailed and built the ark and rounded up the animals and went into it as God commanded where they stayed for 40 days and 40 nights. I have been only doing this blog for about 3 weeks now but since I am already getting called “crazy” and a “zealot” I am going to take it as a sign from God that this is in fact the calling God had placed on my heart. Please keep reading and sharing and encouraging and go forth and dare to be a Crazy Zealot ♥
Like much of the world I am waiting. Waiting for Covid to come to an end. Waiting for the government to figure their stuff out. Waiting on a move that will be good for the whole family in numerous ways. Waiting for Faith Like Mary to all of sudden explode (and I feel that God is going to take us as far as we can go…then even further than we dreamed of). I must confess, I am going a bit stir crazy with all this waiting. My husband loves me dearly but one thing I know that bothers him is my lack of patience. I dislike waiting very much as I want it to happen now.
I am listening to John Waller’s “While I am Waiting” as I type this and I am reminded of other times in my life where God basically sat me down in a chair and said “you wait, you rest, you worship, I will do the work”. Isaiah 40:31—But they that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint.
I encourage you to sit and wait and rest and worship because Dear One, God is already at work even when you don’t see it ♥
Even though today is a day of rest, Faith Like Mary was hard at work creating an official logo and 2020 tee ((now available in the merch store…show your American pride and help support a new ministry). I made an “office” of sorts on the 3D chat site I use. started following other Christian bloggers, ran errands, picked up a small fry from Gram, did dishes and laundry and all that was after attending services online…when God calls you, He yells for you
p.s. I was really struggling the other day and I cried for God to show me signs that He is in control and since then I have been flooded with meme’s and blessings and reminders that yes I am struggling but so is my neighbor, my family, my friend, so I better stop complaining about my measly problems when there’s bigger problems…talk about a wake-up call
Hello my brother’s and sister’s in Christ ♥ I am new to blogging and would appreciate any and all tips any are willing to share….
It is said, the eyes are the window to your soul and the best way to see that is to look into a mirror. I do not like to spend a lot of time in the mirror. Or at least, I did not. When I was younger, I would look into the mirror and see a broken girl staring back at me. Who could love me? Why? Was I worth anything? I hated the pain and the anger and the fear and the distrust and the betrayal I saw staring back at me. Then I learned a valuable lesson: if God loves me, that is enough! I saw under the pain and the anger and the fear and the distrust, there stood a woman who had overcome insurmountable struggles with God’s grace and now there stood an unknown woman. I still struggle sometimes to really look in the mirror. This woman that I see staring back at me is unknown but strong. Scared but brave. Trusting even though I am afraid. Why? Because I look into my eyes and I marvel at the strength and beauty and grace shining there from God. So when you doubt yourself, when your full of that pain, that anger, that fear, that distrust, when you wonder if you are enough…I challenge you today to look into that mirror and let the pain wash over you. Let the anger, fear, and distrust soak you. Then watch yourself as you think and feel more. Feel the strength that comes from God. Watch as your face softens with God’s love and understanding. See as He takes your hurts, habits, and hang-ups (your tests if you will) and turn them into triumphs.